No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
