i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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