a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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