I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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