Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
