So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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