i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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