bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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