Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
