This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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