Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
