I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
