If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
