WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize