There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
