508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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