This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
