you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
