I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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