there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
