Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
