Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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