They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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