i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
