Cold hands, warm shart.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
