Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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