soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
