If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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