Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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