love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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