She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
