This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
