when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
