dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
