Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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