There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I came so hard my ears popped.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
