The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Randomize
