my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
