It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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