i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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