Will you blow on my dice?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His hands were made for my vagina.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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