These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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