I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
