sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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