I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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