why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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