Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
