Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
