I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
