how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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