Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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