U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize