I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
