i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
