So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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