According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
