Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
