Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had sex on a roof
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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