u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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