i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
