Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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