Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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