yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
