I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
