And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
