Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize