just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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