No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
