It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
