They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
